I will be the first to admit that I am scared.
Scared, scared, scared.
All this time of letting it go freely and fall for who it wants, when it wants, how it wants....
I don't want to get hurt again.
But who does?
Who wants to have their heart ripped out and stepped on and thrown aside as if it were nothing?
I really like him. I can't believe how much I like him. I can't say that I love him though. I care about him a lot. If anything were to happen to him, I'd feel broken inside.
Is that normal?
Do I even care?
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
You Were Meant for Me
It is amazing how good you make me feel.
I feel beautiful,
wanted,
alive,
special.
I feel like for once, the universe has seen fit to bring someone to me that is here for more than just a fling. You see past my beauty and my body.
You see into my heart,
my soul,
my spirit.
You see the parts of me that I am absolutely certain everyone would mock me for.
You are so far away...so very far away.
And it hurts sometimes.
Sometimes I cry,
sometimes I throw tantrums,
sometimes I run and run and run until I can't feel the pain anymore.
But luckily for us, this is temporary.
We will be in each other's arms before we know it.
Living,
laughing,
loving.
We may fight,
we may yell,
we may scream,
but we will be together.
Our love won't be perfect, but it will be ours.
It will be beautiful
I feel beautiful,
wanted,
alive,
special.
I feel like for once, the universe has seen fit to bring someone to me that is here for more than just a fling. You see past my beauty and my body.
You see into my heart,
my soul,
my spirit.
You see the parts of me that I am absolutely certain everyone would mock me for.
You are so far away...so very far away.
And it hurts sometimes.
Sometimes I cry,
sometimes I throw tantrums,
sometimes I run and run and run until I can't feel the pain anymore.
But luckily for us, this is temporary.
We will be in each other's arms before we know it.
Living,
laughing,
loving.
We may fight,
we may yell,
we may scream,
but we will be together.
Our love won't be perfect, but it will be ours.
It will be beautiful
Monday, February 3, 2014
Lovefool
It's funny who is who will be there for you when you need it the most. Never in a million years would I ever have thought that he would be there for me the way that he is. We have history, you know? Some of it good, most of it bad. But we have history. And he loves me. I know that he does. Not in love with me, of course. Not that I want him to be. But he does love me. And I love him too. Somehow we managed to be friends after all of the crap that we put each other through. Our friendship is far from perfect but in some crazy way it works.
But what about him? The other him, I mean. The mister, if you will. I could love him if he'd let me. I could. I could kiss away all of the painful memories and make him understand what it means to be loved fully and unconditionally. I could protect his heart forever and make sure the no one else ever caused him any harm. I could shower him with love and affection every single day and let him know that he means the absolute world to me. I could do it all for him if he'd let me.
I just wish he'd let me.
But what about him? The other him, I mean. The mister, if you will. I could love him if he'd let me. I could. I could kiss away all of the painful memories and make him understand what it means to be loved fully and unconditionally. I could protect his heart forever and make sure the no one else ever caused him any harm. I could shower him with love and affection every single day and let him know that he means the absolute world to me. I could do it all for him if he'd let me.
I just wish he'd let me.
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